A sarcastic blog about modern technology. Because tech blogging should not be so serious. techcommntr is a blog that sardonically comments on the technology community. The lack of e’s at the end of the website title makes the blog much more professional! techcommntr is run by Max Woolf, a Carnegie Mellon University graduate, San Francisco Bay Area resident, and dedicated blog commenter. All terrible jokes expressed by Max Woolf are his own.Tumblr (3.0; @techcommntr)http://techcommntr.com/<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/05/09/nea-raising-2-5-billion-for-what-could-become-one-of-the-largest-vc-funds-in-history/">NEA Raising $2.5 Billion For What Could Become The Largest VC Fund In History</a>: <p><span>Pfft, that’ll only buy two-and-a-half Instagrams.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 5/9/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/30257566906http://techcommntr.com/post/30257566906Sun, 26 Aug 2012 11:58:18 -0700technologytechtechcrunchcolleen taylor<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7jalzBLnk1rnficvo1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://techcommntr.com/post/30185870069http://techcommntr.com/post/30185870069Sat, 25 Aug 2012 11:58:13 -0700technologytechtechcrunchkim-mai cutler<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/05/21/major-steal-king-com-poaches-talent-behind-eas-sims-social-to-lead-new-london-studio/">Major Steal: King.com Poaches Talent Behind EA’s Sims Social To Lead New London Studio</a>: <p><span>Major Steal is the commanding officer of Corporal Theft.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p>(Comment made 5/21/2012)</p>http://techcommntr.com/post/30115420248http://techcommntr.com/post/30115420248Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:00:33 -0700technologytechtechcrunchkim-mai cutler“But if its team can make Shaker feel like a real, natural virtualization of ourselves, it could make it cool to sit home alone on your computer. Because you won’t really be alone.”<br/><br/> - <em><p><span>The same could be said about Chatroulette.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 5/23/2012)</span></em></p></em>http://techcommntr.com/post/30047427524http://techcommntr.com/post/30047427524Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:51:41 -0700technologytechtechcrunchjosh constine<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7jaaxumkL1rnficvo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><span>There should be another robot on the other shoulder, and the two together can help you evaluate moral dilemmas.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><span>(Comment made 5/29/2012)</span></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29978594220http://techcommntr.com/post/29978594220Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:52:30 -0700technologytechtechcrunchjohn biggs<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/04/03/facebook-threatens-to-sue-techcrunch-commenter/">Facebook Threatens To Sue TechCrunch Commenter</a>: <p><span>My worst nightmare.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 4/3/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29910736092http://techcommntr.com/post/29910736092Tue, 21 Aug 2012 11:37:52 -0700technologytechtechcrunchAlexia Tsotsis“There are only 11 startup logos to choose from at this point, but we’re hoping it’s not too long before TechCrunch’s logo shows up, as well your startup of choice”<br/><br/> - <em><span>So TechCrunch is now a startup? :P</span></em>http://techcommntr.com/post/29841358145http://techcommntr.com/post/29841358145Mon, 20 Aug 2012 11:45:46 -0700technologytechtechcrunchRIP Emerson<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/03/04/how-i-screwed-yasser-arafat-out-of-2-million-the-comic-book/">How I Screwed Yasser Arafat Out of $2 Million, the Comic Book</a>: <p><span>M&A in alley this morning, Arafat in front corporation. Silicon Valley is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of cash and when the drains finally overflow, all the hipsters will drown. The accumulated filth of all their social-location apps will foam up about their waists and all the entrepreneurs and bloggers will look up and shout “Invest in us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.”</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 3/24/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29771869143http://techcommntr.com/post/29771869143Sun, 19 Aug 2012 11:45:21 -0700technologytechtechcrunch<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7j9lc7i8Z1rnficvo1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://techcommntr.com/post/29704512579http://techcommntr.com/post/29704512579Sat, 18 Aug 2012 11:55:09 -0700technologytechtechcrunch<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/03/19/steve-jang-the-difference-between-last-fm-and-imeem-was-escape-velocity/">Steve Jang: The Difference Between Last.fm And Imeem Was “Escape Velocity”</a>: <p><span>We can use random physics terms to describe startups now? In that case, Facebook and Twitter are currently experiencing a Doppler Effect, according to Ohm’s Law.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 3/19/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29634903391http://techcommntr.com/post/29634903391Fri, 17 Aug 2012 11:56:59 -0700technologytechtechcrunchAlexia Tsotsis<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/03/26/smarterer-5m-questions-answered/">Smarterer Hits 5M Questions Answered In Its Quest To Help You Show Employers Your Skillz</a>: <p><div class="postText">Terrible name. Too many vowels. It should be called Smartrr.</div> <div class="stat_elem"><br/><em>(Comment made 3/26/2012)</em></div></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29564921348http://techcommntr.com/post/29564921348Thu, 16 Aug 2012 11:52:08 -0700technologytechtechcrunchRIP Emerson<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/03/30/evinar/">Evinar – A Google Hangouts For Facebook That Broadcasts Anything (Except The Audience)</a>: <p><span>In internet lingo, “anything” means porn.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 3/30/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29494605967http://techcommntr.com/post/29494605967Wed, 15 Aug 2012 12:00:11 -0700technologytechtechcrunchjosh constine<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/03/31/dramacrunch/">Tired Of Straight Tech News? Check Out Techcrunch.com/Drama</a>: <p><span>TechCrunch has quite clearly jumped the shark.</span><br/><br/><span>I’m quitting commenting.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 4/1/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29422538745http://techcommntr.com/post/29422538745Tue, 14 Aug 2012 11:48:02 -0700technologytechtechcrunchAlexia Tsotsiseric eldon<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/02/07/ignite-takes-5-million-series-c-to-build-world-of-warcraft-for-car-racing/">Ignite Takes $5 Million Series C To Build World Of Warcraft For Car Racing</a>: <p><span>This is not even remotely close to World of Warcraft, or any other MMORPG. Unless you can get 24 guildmates to race down raid bosses for epix.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 2/7/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29350904049http://techcommntr.com/post/29350904049Mon, 13 Aug 2012 11:58:07 -0700technologytechtechcrunchjosh constine<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7j8tjg8tO1rnficvo1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://techcommntr.com/post/29278081886http://techcommntr.com/post/29278081886Sun, 12 Aug 2012 12:00:48 -0700technologytechtechcrunch<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/02/08/google-updates-chrome-browser-now-offers-faster-browsing-improved-security/">Google Updates Chrome Browser, Now Offers Faster Browsing, Improved Security</a>: <p><span>More importantly, they finally updated the copyright year in the About screen to 2012! Yay!</span></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29208810635http://techcommntr.com/post/29208810635Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:51:01 -0700technologytechtechcrunchSarah Perez<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/02/13/bittorrent-live/">BitTorrent Live: Cheap, Real-Time P2P Video Streaming That Will Kill TV</a>: <p><span>This is too late to kill TV. Jersey Shore already did that.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><span>(Comment made 2/13/2012)<br/></span></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29138185119http://techcommntr.com/post/29138185119Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:52:01 -0700technologytechtechcrunchjosh constine<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/02/14/facebook-voting-rights/">If Investors Want More Voting Rights, They Should Have Invented Facebook</a>: <p><span>If Investors Want More Voting Rights, They Should Have Invented Voting Rights.</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 2/14/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/29066774182http://techcommntr.com/post/29066774182Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:53:47 -0700technologytechtechcruncheric eldon<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7j8fkRmov1rnficvo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><span>Did they really compliment themselves in their logo?</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 2/19/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/28995005018http://techcommntr.com/post/28995005018Wed, 08 Aug 2012 11:56:43 -0700technologytechtechcrunchanthony ha<a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/02/20/lucky-sort-grabs-half-a-million-for-big-data-visualization-on-web-ipad/">Lucky Sort Grabs Half A Million For Big Data Visualization On Web</a>: <p><span>Lucky Sort’s efficiency is O(d20).</span></p> <p><span><br/></span></p> <p><em><span>(Comment made 2/20/2012)</span></em></p>http://techcommntr.com/post/28922725449http://techcommntr.com/post/28922725449Tue, 07 Aug 2012 11:57:39 -0700technologytechtechcrunchSarah Perez